When the one you love doesn't love you back

Temen gw, Siti, baru bikin blog. Seneng banget gw, saking senengnya gw mpe bantuin agak nge'bagusin' tampilan blog dia. Tapi gitu gw baca slh satu postingan blog dia yg terakhir, gw jadi agak sedih juga.

Sudah Cukup Bagiku

aku sudah cukup bahagia dengan melihatmu tersenyum saat membayangkan wajahnya
aku sudah cukup bahagia dengan melihatmu berdiri tegak menunggunya di sana
aku sudah cukup bahagia dengan melihatmu berjalan menuju ke arahnya
aku sudah cukup bahagia dengan medengarmu tertawa saat bercanda bersamanya
aku sudah cukup bahagia dengan melihatmu bahagia bersamanya
aku sudah cukup bahagia walau kau tak pernah merasakannya
semua itu sudah cukup bagiku

Gw ga bisa ngebayangin kalo gw yg di posisi gitu. Widih klo gw sih daripada harus ngeliatin org yg gw cinta lagi seneng-seneng sama cewe lain, mending gw cari kegiatan lain yg jauh lebih "berguna" daripada harus ngabisin waktu yg cuma bikin makan ati! (=______= " )

Sometimes, your heart tells you this person is meant for you. And what a feeling it is, destiny bringing the two of you together. The feelings you're having are only your feelings. Yes, one-sided love. They are not shared by the one you long to be with. You feel sad, disappointed, confused, and (if that's me) perhaps even angry.

When the one you love doesn't love you back, life seems like a waiting game filled with high hopes, positive thinking (and disappointment). When your expressions of affection go unnoticed, ignored, or even unappreciated, it hurts. Kalo di pilem-pilem jaman sekarang (lagi musim High School Musical, Glee, Nada Cinta,dll) langsung deh nyanyi Hurt-nya Christina Aguilera dengan efek rambut terbang-terbang hembusan angin sepoi-sepoi (busetttt! It's so alay...Huahahahahah!) Jadinya, your mind runs wild with questions: "What am I doing wrong? What am I not doing that I should be doing? What's the matter with me? What's the matter with him/her?" blablabla....

That's the bad news: when the one you love doesn't love you back, it hurts, and that hurt can affect everything in your life. Serasa dunia ini runtuh gitu kali ye. Kalo kata bang Rhoma Irama, "Therrr lhaa lhuuu..."

But the good news is that you can triumph over this trial in your life, and even come out the stronger for it! A broken heart can be bad results: an attitude problem. Tapi bagusan kan kalo lagi patah hati, lo ikut organisasi sosial kek, ikutan audisi Indonesian Idol ato kontes bakat lain, kali aja lo jadi masuk tipi, terkenal, trus ditawarin main pelem jadi pembokatnya Bret Phit.

Saran dari gw nih:

1. Turn to friends for help

Never underestimate your friends. They know you, perhaps better than anyone else right now. And they care about you; they want to help. Kali aja kan jadi dikenalin sama cucu adik ipar kakek paman nyokapnya temen lo. Tell your friends (or a particularly good friend) how you feel. Explain why you like that other person so much and how much it hurts because the person doesn't like you. Listen to what your friends say. They often see and know things that you can't see or don't know. They may see the major differences between you and the person you like. Mungkin aja lo terlalu cantik dan baik buat gebetan lo itu, dan bisa aja gebetan lo itu diluaran sana brengsek minta ampun, playboy cap jempol ayam kudisan, terlalu tua buat lo juga bisa kan (kali temen gw ini naksir sama tetangganya yg uda kakek-kakek uzur). With a few simple facts, your hurt and anger can move toward understanding.

2.Turn to music for help

Nah ini dia yg paling bener. Setelah curhat-curhatan sama temen-temen lo, kudu deh pegi karoke! Cara ini selalu ampuh buat balikin mood gw. Kalo ga sempat pegi karoke, ya lo nyanyi-nyanyi aja depan temen-temen lo, mereka ngertiin kok. Oiya, nyanyi lagu yg nge-beat gitu ya. Jangan lagu yg alunannya kayak mau nguburin kucing. Let the rhythm, words, and energy of the songs help you release your emotions. Rock kek, Heavy-metal, rap, R & B, apa aja deh every variety of music offers songs that deal with human situations.

3. Make the most of your time

I get out with my mom, and we just drive around. Then I often go shopping to the mall with my sisters (bestfriends) and have fun. Tapi temen gw yg lain juga yg lagi patah hati mala nyibukkin diri dengan kerja, cari duit. Ada yg cowo, patah hati, trus mala ngutak-ngatik mobilnya, dimodif abis dah. You have to find ways to use your time for other things: things that have a positive payoff in the end. Buat apa lo mikirin dia sedangkan dia lagi have fun sama cowo/cewe lain dan ga bakal mikirin lo sedetik pun. Go out and have some fun, guys!

4. Realize that you can love even thought you're not loved back

Lah setidaknya lo harus bersyukur lo bisa punya perasaan cinta kayak gitu. Ga semua orang bisa lho. Itu kan berarti lo ga gampang jatuh cinta, lo sangat menghargai cinta, dan lo BISA menjunjung tinggi rasa cinta itu (ceileh bahasa guweeee....) Tuh diluaran sana banyak banget cewe dan cowo yg sering ngomong "I love you" kalo kata abang-abang SM*SH sih "I heart you" tapi ya liat aja gonta ganti pacar cepet bener. Ngomongnya doang pinter, gampang ngomong "cinta" gitu. Tapi ya ngerti juga ga. Punya juga ga, wong kalo emg cinta kan kelakuan ga kek begitu. Baru putus dua hari bisa punya cewe baru. Malah ada yg lebih parah. Diputusin selingkuhan, baru deh minta balik lagi sama pacar lama. Jiahhh.... Well, the very essence of love means respecting the goodness in another person. It means respecting the other person's freedom to feel and think independently, even when it hurts your feelings. That's love. A feeling that lacks this kind of basic acceptance is not love in the first place; it's possessiveness. Trying to possess another's affections eventually leads to tremendous pain and disappointment. Possessiveness is a form of control. If love isn't given freely, it's not love.

5. Be honest with the person who doesn't love you back

Truly caring for someone means being honest with that person. Tell this special person that he/she is, in fact, someone you admire and enjoy being with. Be specific about why. Heart-felt honesty that isn't clingy or sappy can open the doors of friendship. Just because someone doesn't want to spend every waking minute with you doesn't mean he/she has rejected you as a friend.

One thing that you should remember: Don't feel sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself is the beginning of feeling helpless, and you're not helpless! You are loveable just the way you are.

(Musik yg diputer saat gw ngetik ini: Just the way you are - Bang Bruno Mars)